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Lisa's visitation was last night. Her funeral is today, about noon my time.
I was really paranoid about the flowers not getting there. I was out and about yesterday around 4:30 or so - while Lisa's visitation was going on in Eastern Standard Time - and it occurred to me that I hadn't called funeral home to confirm the flower delivery.
So I texted Maggie and asked her to make the call for me, which she did, and she confirmed that they had been delivered to the funeral home.
Whew. It was so great of Maggie to do that for me. I was in the dressing room at Target at the time and didn't have the number handy or anything.
Anyway, I haven't received any money from my classmates yet, but several of them assured me that they're sending checks. They just coming from all over the US, so it may take several days. From my calculations, the donations should more than cover the flowers, so I will hopefully be able to make a donation to Hopeline.
It would mean a lot to me if I could make this donation. If Lisa had called that number, she might still be here. If she had any idea of the tremendous outpouring of love, friendship and grief since she took her life, well, knowing how much she was cared for might have saved her. It still really bothers me that anybody would feel that desperate, that they would feel that this was the only choice. I may get down sometimes, but I never feel like things are past all hope - that life isn't worth living. I know she had a lot of pain and sadness, but when I spent those two weeks with her last year, she seemed so lively, spirited and upbeat, despite the pain that was tearing her up inside.
Reading her suicide note will haunt me forever. Recognizing what it was - and being helpless to do anything about it - will haunt me forever. I didn't have a phone number to call her. All I could do was respond to that Facebook post, and let her know that I was there, and that I cared. But the second she posted that to her Facebook, it was probably too late already.
I was really paranoid about the flowers not getting there. I was out and about yesterday around 4:30 or so - while Lisa's visitation was going on in Eastern Standard Time - and it occurred to me that I hadn't called funeral home to confirm the flower delivery.
So I texted Maggie and asked her to make the call for me, which she did, and she confirmed that they had been delivered to the funeral home.
Whew. It was so great of Maggie to do that for me. I was in the dressing room at Target at the time and didn't have the number handy or anything.
Anyway, I haven't received any money from my classmates yet, but several of them assured me that they're sending checks. They just coming from all over the US, so it may take several days. From my calculations, the donations should more than cover the flowers, so I will hopefully be able to make a donation to Hopeline.
It would mean a lot to me if I could make this donation. If Lisa had called that number, she might still be here. If she had any idea of the tremendous outpouring of love, friendship and grief since she took her life, well, knowing how much she was cared for might have saved her. It still really bothers me that anybody would feel that desperate, that they would feel that this was the only choice. I may get down sometimes, but I never feel like things are past all hope - that life isn't worth living. I know she had a lot of pain and sadness, but when I spent those two weeks with her last year, she seemed so lively, spirited and upbeat, despite the pain that was tearing her up inside.
Reading her suicide note will haunt me forever. Recognizing what it was - and being helpless to do anything about it - will haunt me forever. I didn't have a phone number to call her. All I could do was respond to that Facebook post, and let her know that I was there, and that I cared. But the second she posted that to her Facebook, it was probably too late already.
