prosodic: (bridge)
[personal profile] prosodic
I'm just feeling sad today.

I've been struggling a lot with homesickness...for Germany, that is. For the life I had there. For my friends. For all the wonderful food.

I expected this, of course. If I were living there, I would long to be back here in the US. I can never win.

This probably wouldn't even be a big deal if Lance were here at home with me today. It's just too quiet, and there isn't enough to do, and I end up thinking about things that make me feel sad and lonely.

Date: 2008-03-31 12:39 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-03-31 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prosodic.livejournal.com
Lance is also in a funk today, so it helped for us both to talk about our feelings. I don't think either of us are any closer to answering the big questions in our lives, but at least we know we have each other, no matter what.

Date: 2008-03-31 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluedots98.livejournal.com
Yeah, the post Germany funk. I know it well.

It gets better, I promise. It never *quite* goes away, though. =) It's just too life-changing an experience. Now you know why I was so bummed when we moved back!

Date: 2008-03-31 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prosodic.livejournal.com
I was happy to leave, at first. It seemed like just doing daily, mundane things that take half an hour in the States take all day in Germany. And that gets to be a pain.

But it's the other things I think about. Being able to hop on a train and go anywhere I want in the space of a few hours. Doner kebap. Amazing tapas. Days spent walking around Aachen...

I know I'll find rituals here that I'll love and hate to leave, eventually...
Edited Date: 2008-03-31 02:23 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-03-31 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jerseyfille.livejournal.com
I think we always look back on our experiences and remember more good than bad. Sometimes I look back and think 'hey, Indiana wasn't so bad' but what I'm remembering are the seldom nights out with friends, not the crappy days and evenings spent chained to a desk reading and writing and grading.
And you're still settling in there not it's not super fair to compare 4 months of seattle to 4 years of Germany. Try and think back to 4 months germany and if you really loved it there yet.

Date: 2008-03-31 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prosodic.livejournal.com
Oh, I know. It just takes time, but I'll feel settled here eventually. I anticipated going through this, just as I anticipated what I went through in Germany when I first moved there, although maybe my adjustment there was worse than I expected.

Date: 2008-03-31 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katzies.livejournal.com
It's weird how we always want what we can't have. I've pretty much accepted that I will never be 100% happy in a place because we will always live between two cultures.

Date: 2008-03-31 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mipplet.livejournal.com
:(

It just takes time.

Date: 2008-03-31 02:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prosodic.livejournal.com
Yeah...I imagine things are even further complicated for you. But I'm glad you understand how I feel.

Date: 2008-03-31 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prosodic.livejournal.com
I know. Adjusting to Germany was far worse than this is. But this is similar in a lot of way. The culture here is also very different from what I grew up with. It's just not nearly as foreign...if that makes any sense.

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December 2023

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