I am living many lives within one lifetime
Jun. 5th, 2008 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prosodicI don't know if it's the weather (I'm still wearing my winter pajamas, we still have the heat on, and we're lucky if it hits 60 degrees for the high), or other things...my guess it's a combination of stuff...
But damn, I have been in a horrible funk this week.
I need to be snapped out of it. But I don't know how.
The weather isn't improving in the foreseeable future. Lance leaves me again on Sunday morning (and guess who has to drive him to Boeing Field at some unholy hour of the morning). My birthday is 6 days away and I am spending the entire day at work, then coming home to a needy dog (Lance will still be gone), and probably takeout food and a store-bought cake (I invited Ruby over that evening, but haven't heard back from her yet). I would love to go out...I have a free dinner at Duke's Chowder House, but I really don't want to crate Reece all day, only to come home and crate her AGAIN so I can have dinner out.
And I cannot stop thinking about my life a year ago...two years ago...three years ago. How much different it was then. How I long right now to have that back. But it can't come back...it will never come back. And I have to try to remember all that frustrated me about that life. There were plenty of things that made life tedious. And I need to keep that foremost in my mind so I don't go crazy from missing that life so much.
Because this life can be pretty good too. It will take time. It will take some tweaking. But I can make this good. I can know again what it is to be content. The trick is figuring out HOW to get there. And I have to learn to be happy again to just be and just breathe.
But damn, I have been in a horrible funk this week.
I need to be snapped out of it. But I don't know how.
The weather isn't improving in the foreseeable future. Lance leaves me again on Sunday morning (and guess who has to drive him to Boeing Field at some unholy hour of the morning). My birthday is 6 days away and I am spending the entire day at work, then coming home to a needy dog (Lance will still be gone), and probably takeout food and a store-bought cake (I invited Ruby over that evening, but haven't heard back from her yet). I would love to go out...I have a free dinner at Duke's Chowder House, but I really don't want to crate Reece all day, only to come home and crate her AGAIN so I can have dinner out.
And I cannot stop thinking about my life a year ago...two years ago...three years ago. How much different it was then. How I long right now to have that back. But it can't come back...it will never come back. And I have to try to remember all that frustrated me about that life. There were plenty of things that made life tedious. And I need to keep that foremost in my mind so I don't go crazy from missing that life so much.
Because this life can be pretty good too. It will take time. It will take some tweaking. But I can make this good. I can know again what it is to be content. The trick is figuring out HOW to get there. And I have to learn to be happy again to just be and just breathe.
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Date: 2008-06-06 04:33 am (UTC)The weather here in NC is 90+ just like Louisiana was/is - I wish I could subtract a few notches and send it your way!
But I can make this good. I can know again what it is to be content. The trick is figuring out HOW to get there.
I hear you - making the best of where you live is quite a feat and it's a daily challenge.