Blindsided

[prosodic]

Now that I'm breathing normally and calmed down, I need to make sense of things.

Grandma England is dying. She is dying.

She just got out of the nursing home a few weeks ago. She was recuperating at her niece's house in Fort Wayne...learning to walk again (maybe). She was happy. She was getting healthy again.

A brain aneurysm took her down this morning. Just like that. She's on life support, but she's being taken off as soon as everyone can get to the hospital. She had a living will. She wanted it this way.

She's going. And I feel helpless. And the first thing I did after sobbing into Lance's shirt was call my other Grandma to tell her that I love her. I made her cry. I didn't mean to do that.

I'm just glad that I saw Grandma E. this summer on my visit home. She was so happy when I came to the nursing home. She didn't know I was coming. And she bragged to all the nurses about her granddaughter who came all the way from Germany to see her.

I love you, Grandma. Peaceful rest.

Comments

[prosodic.livejournal.com]

I went down this road with my Grandpa 8 years ago. I know. I found out via email that he was on his deathbed, just as I found out via email about Grandma. I was in England when he died. I finally got through to my family 10 minutes after he passed away.

This time, I don't know how to get a hold of anyone. They're all either in Indiana or enroute to Indiana right now. But I suppose someone will get word to me when it's finally over.

*sigh*

[byron.livejournal.com]

What makes it worse is that you are on the other side of the known universe for all intents and purposes.

I held my grandfather's hand the last forty-five minutes of his life. Had a hand on my other grandfather when he went. Its awful to be there. Being out of country is a mixed blessing.

[prosodic.livejournal.com]

I always thought Grandma E. was a tough old bird. She's been a widow for 30 + years, and seemed to manage just fine on her own. She was an avid bowler (until she broke her hip in June). She had a wicked sense of humor.

Seeing her in the bed at the nursing home just stabbed me through my heart. She looked so fragile. I can't even imagine what the scene is like right now at the hospital. I don't want to imagine.